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Dunno why this site has stuck out in my head like it does. Maybe because it was one of the first websites I ever made an account on? Probably because I lived through some of the most cringeworthy times of my life here amongst a bunch of older kids and adults. Don't know why I'm making this post at 12:30 AM on a Saturday either, or why I care. Maybe I just need the random approval of strangers online. Maybe I'm just doing this because it's what 14 year old me would have wanted. Maybe I'm overthinking making a post on some random Zelda Roleplaying forum, but in any event here we are, so I guess I'll launch into it.
You know, 13-16 year old me thought I was on a lot better terms with everyone here then I actually was. Don't know why, probably because I was just a sperg. 13 - 16 year old me also made a lot of shit up on the internet. But I'd ask everyone to cut me a bit of slack, I was a bit of a sheltered homeschooler. I kind of think me slowly picking up on the fact that everyone here found me annoying actually helped a lot with my social skills, so I gotta thank everyone for that because I deserved it. But this is the redemption arc. People like me usually drift off into nothingness and you'd just forget I existed, but I'm much too introspective of a person to just let it go like that. I don't want to sound like I'm trying too hard to write something super flowery, but it tends to be how I write these days, so try to bear with me please. Perhaps you'll find it interesting to see what exactly happens to those annoying kids you meet online on a daily basis? Not every day you get to see their evolution unless you just enjoy hanging around them for whatever reason.
So, since I kind of just up and stopped coming on here in 2016, lets fill in the blank space. High school was an utterly uneventful waste of my time. Got a job, and cheated my way through everything so I could work more hours. It was all kind of a blur. I look back on my old blogs and half the shit I wrote about just kind of faded entirely in my memory. I think I significantly improved socially around late 2016 going into early 2017, as a result of having a job. All irrelevant because shit didn't really kick off til...
2018 was my fuckin' year. Kicked ass. Got a "real" job, moved out of the house, started on my own. It was fun, my life mostly revolved around working out, video games, and anime. I think it was the developmental period high school was really supposed to be for me, and I was kind of stunted on the real world. Now I want to pause real quick, because I don't want anyone here to think I'm anti-homeschool. Quite the contrary, I genuinely believe it's your moral obligation to teach your own children. However, in that same breath, I'd advise you not to neglect their social skills while you do. It's possible to be homeschooled and not be a geeky socially awkward sperg, I know several kids in highschool who weren't. I just never really had that switch flip until way later in life. Anyways, 2018 was dope. Played the fuck out of DMC V, got into Jojos, started really trying to better myself. Mostly a result of online right wing propaganda, but everyone starts somewhere.
2019-2022 Don't want to give a total play by play of my life, since I just want to summarize to document kind of how people evolve. So I woke up one morning and joined the US Navy. There was no forethought other than "I don't want to be like everyone else." Not the best plan, but I was moving my legs. All that matters is that you keep moving, if life gets stale you need to throw yourself into the fire every now and then, and that's exactly what I did. Boot camp felt like an eternity, but in reality it was only two months. It was a lot of fun looking back on it, life was new and changing every day. I originally intended on being a Navy SEAL, but I picked Air Traffic Control first so I'd have a backup job if I dropped out of that. Needless to say, cheating your way through highschool doesn't exactly produce results in a very academically inclined field. So I flunked out of AC. I remember my dad not being surprised at all, which hurt a lot, but oh well. So my new job was Electrician's Mate, mostly I picked it because I had a buddy at the time who also picked it.
Side note, I picked up smoking in 2018. Not saying this to try to sound cool or edgy, but smoking was like steroids to my social skills, ESPECIALLY after hitting the military. You learn to make friends quick when you're all lighting up, and conversation is always lively.
Got to my ship in 2020 right at the height of Covid. Fun stuff. Don't know why, but I was a rebel from the word go. I was constantly stressed out because I'd cheat on shit and get in trouble, or just neglect to do shit and also get in trouble. But then some part of me found it extremely amusing as well. I kind of grew to detest hollow authority, and since my boat was in dry dock, in other words not sailing, I grew to resent the military. I know, I know, I put myself in that situation and signed myself up. But you get told tales of these globe trotting adventures at sea where you're drunk with all your buddies, and it's hard not to feel a certain amount of resentment at the fact that you're stuck in a Virginia ghetto twiddling your thumbs. My rage came out mostly in the form of honing in on my physical fitness, and drinking. Lots of drinking. Not really the fun kind of drinking either, it was a lot of lonely nights where I'd just sit in my room and down beer that I illegally purchased at the gas station up the road who I figured out wouldn't card me. A lot of times I could have gotten arrested, it's only God's grace that I didn't.
Around 2021 I did wind up getting arrested. I was big into the outdoors, and had learned to really love nature. My weekends consisted of hiking, camping, and fishing (All alone of course), usually returning to my barracks in time to get wasted. One of my more impressive physical feats is that I fasted for a week, then hiked 10 miles in 60lbs of gear. Felt like a fucking animal after that one. Anyways, I got arrested over "Weapons" in my barracks. It wasn't really anything dangerous. I had a fixed blade knife, a throwing hatchet, and shotgun shells from when my dad came out and we went hunting. Stupid shit, but not allowed on base. Wound up in cuffs for 12 hours before anyone got me, and started really stressing out about weather or not I'd go to military prison. I didn't, all charges were dropped, but this didn't change the fact that I resented them even more for putting me through so much stress. I also got banned from the base my barracks were on, and they tried to stick me in a shithole in the middle of newport news with all the other dirtbags. I deserved it, but I refused to go there. I wound up staying with some buddies who had moved out. 400 a month rent to sleep on the floor of a one bedroom one bathroom townhouse with no furniture whatsoever and a healthy roach infestation. I was a rage demon.
Now before I get to the next part, I want to elaborate that, at the time, they were pushing a mandatory covid vaccine. I refused, being both anti-vax and wanting out, it was a win win for me. However the paperwork to seperate me was in indefinite limbo, so I couldn't go on leave and see my family. I was just stuck.
I was up to a pack a day, drunk every weeked. My diet consisted of raw meat and nothing else. I stopped going in the woods. All my lifts went up. By night I was astral projecting, by day I was practicing galdr, and I still showed up for church on Sunday. I felt like I was hurtling towards destruction at a breakneck speed, I felt trapped, I was basically trying to kill myself one cigarette, one beer, one lift at a time. Then I got out.
This last year leading up to today feels like a blur. I know I dwelt on everything else, but I just don't have a lot of introspection on things. Life is good now. Got a truck, got a 3 bedroom 2 bath trailer in my hometown. Worked on the railroad for 8 months, and now I'm working as a dam electrician. Got a dog too, German Shepherd named Mengele. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure I knocked my girl up, she's two months late right now. Life is wild ya'll, life moves fast. Yesterday I was making posts on this board about my high school crush and pretending to hear a voice in my head, the day before I was learning how to walk. Today I'm doing really good. Tomorrow maybe I won't be. I've had friends come and go, some died, some just faded out of my life. And I just want to say, I appreciate ya'll for putting up with me during some of the most absolutely cringe inducing moments of my life, and teaching me things I wasn't learning in person. The fact you've stuck out to me to where I felt the need to circle back 7 years later I think should prove how much of an impact you have.
I don't know how active this place is anymore, i saw some posts from 2023 though which really surprised me. Ya'll gotta be pushing up on your thirties by now and you're still posting on here every now and again. You all probably still game together too. I'd love to catch up on where everyone went, even though to be honest only a few of you even stick out to me.
Also, one thing I didn't touch on, that's probably another reason this place sticks out, is my writing. This was the first place I really got to express myself creatively, even if it was really just ripping off deadpool and other characters I enjoyed. But most good writing is founded on wanting to rip something else off. Anyhow, by the time I was 20 I finished a few novels, and a few movie scripts. I thought I wanted to go to hollywood, but that dream died off. Oh, in 2019 I finished 3 different games too, they were shitty but I was proud of them. Coded them, did the art, everything from scratch. Just little Zelda ripoffs, but it was something. Last year I self published two different books, one I've since taken down because I think it was dogshit, one is still up. This year I published my first novel on Amazon. The number between the three of them is close to 100 copies sold, although the second one was free, this newest one actually sold better. So yeah, that's my little redemption arc story.
Also update on my life's side characters: The friend I always complained about went to school for astrophysics, my high school crush married a dude who looks exactly like me except skinnier, and my best friend in high school still lives with his mom.
I hope all your lives are going great. Go outside, be in nature, lift weights, be good to your family. And remember every small interaction you have impacts someone's life. Those people you have tiny interactions with, you might have just impacted them the most. I might be back in another 7 years when the urge strikes me, if I'm not dead. I'll probably look back on this post then and cringe. But looking down on your old self is good, it means you grew. Til next time...
You know, 13-16 year old me thought I was on a lot better terms with everyone here then I actually was. Don't know why, probably because I was just a sperg. 13 - 16 year old me also made a lot of shit up on the internet. But I'd ask everyone to cut me a bit of slack, I was a bit of a sheltered homeschooler. I kind of think me slowly picking up on the fact that everyone here found me annoying actually helped a lot with my social skills, so I gotta thank everyone for that because I deserved it. But this is the redemption arc. People like me usually drift off into nothingness and you'd just forget I existed, but I'm much too introspective of a person to just let it go like that. I don't want to sound like I'm trying too hard to write something super flowery, but it tends to be how I write these days, so try to bear with me please. Perhaps you'll find it interesting to see what exactly happens to those annoying kids you meet online on a daily basis? Not every day you get to see their evolution unless you just enjoy hanging around them for whatever reason.
So, since I kind of just up and stopped coming on here in 2016, lets fill in the blank space. High school was an utterly uneventful waste of my time. Got a job, and cheated my way through everything so I could work more hours. It was all kind of a blur. I look back on my old blogs and half the shit I wrote about just kind of faded entirely in my memory. I think I significantly improved socially around late 2016 going into early 2017, as a result of having a job. All irrelevant because shit didn't really kick off til...
2018 was my fuckin' year. Kicked ass. Got a "real" job, moved out of the house, started on my own. It was fun, my life mostly revolved around working out, video games, and anime. I think it was the developmental period high school was really supposed to be for me, and I was kind of stunted on the real world. Now I want to pause real quick, because I don't want anyone here to think I'm anti-homeschool. Quite the contrary, I genuinely believe it's your moral obligation to teach your own children. However, in that same breath, I'd advise you not to neglect their social skills while you do. It's possible to be homeschooled and not be a geeky socially awkward sperg, I know several kids in highschool who weren't. I just never really had that switch flip until way later in life. Anyways, 2018 was dope. Played the fuck out of DMC V, got into Jojos, started really trying to better myself. Mostly a result of online right wing propaganda, but everyone starts somewhere.
2019-2022 Don't want to give a total play by play of my life, since I just want to summarize to document kind of how people evolve. So I woke up one morning and joined the US Navy. There was no forethought other than "I don't want to be like everyone else." Not the best plan, but I was moving my legs. All that matters is that you keep moving, if life gets stale you need to throw yourself into the fire every now and then, and that's exactly what I did. Boot camp felt like an eternity, but in reality it was only two months. It was a lot of fun looking back on it, life was new and changing every day. I originally intended on being a Navy SEAL, but I picked Air Traffic Control first so I'd have a backup job if I dropped out of that. Needless to say, cheating your way through highschool doesn't exactly produce results in a very academically inclined field. So I flunked out of AC. I remember my dad not being surprised at all, which hurt a lot, but oh well. So my new job was Electrician's Mate, mostly I picked it because I had a buddy at the time who also picked it.
Side note, I picked up smoking in 2018. Not saying this to try to sound cool or edgy, but smoking was like steroids to my social skills, ESPECIALLY after hitting the military. You learn to make friends quick when you're all lighting up, and conversation is always lively.
Got to my ship in 2020 right at the height of Covid. Fun stuff. Don't know why, but I was a rebel from the word go. I was constantly stressed out because I'd cheat on shit and get in trouble, or just neglect to do shit and also get in trouble. But then some part of me found it extremely amusing as well. I kind of grew to detest hollow authority, and since my boat was in dry dock, in other words not sailing, I grew to resent the military. I know, I know, I put myself in that situation and signed myself up. But you get told tales of these globe trotting adventures at sea where you're drunk with all your buddies, and it's hard not to feel a certain amount of resentment at the fact that you're stuck in a Virginia ghetto twiddling your thumbs. My rage came out mostly in the form of honing in on my physical fitness, and drinking. Lots of drinking. Not really the fun kind of drinking either, it was a lot of lonely nights where I'd just sit in my room and down beer that I illegally purchased at the gas station up the road who I figured out wouldn't card me. A lot of times I could have gotten arrested, it's only God's grace that I didn't.
Around 2021 I did wind up getting arrested. I was big into the outdoors, and had learned to really love nature. My weekends consisted of hiking, camping, and fishing (All alone of course), usually returning to my barracks in time to get wasted. One of my more impressive physical feats is that I fasted for a week, then hiked 10 miles in 60lbs of gear. Felt like a fucking animal after that one. Anyways, I got arrested over "Weapons" in my barracks. It wasn't really anything dangerous. I had a fixed blade knife, a throwing hatchet, and shotgun shells from when my dad came out and we went hunting. Stupid shit, but not allowed on base. Wound up in cuffs for 12 hours before anyone got me, and started really stressing out about weather or not I'd go to military prison. I didn't, all charges were dropped, but this didn't change the fact that I resented them even more for putting me through so much stress. I also got banned from the base my barracks were on, and they tried to stick me in a shithole in the middle of newport news with all the other dirtbags. I deserved it, but I refused to go there. I wound up staying with some buddies who had moved out. 400 a month rent to sleep on the floor of a one bedroom one bathroom townhouse with no furniture whatsoever and a healthy roach infestation. I was a rage demon.
Now before I get to the next part, I want to elaborate that, at the time, they were pushing a mandatory covid vaccine. I refused, being both anti-vax and wanting out, it was a win win for me. However the paperwork to seperate me was in indefinite limbo, so I couldn't go on leave and see my family. I was just stuck.
I was up to a pack a day, drunk every weeked. My diet consisted of raw meat and nothing else. I stopped going in the woods. All my lifts went up. By night I was astral projecting, by day I was practicing galdr, and I still showed up for church on Sunday. I felt like I was hurtling towards destruction at a breakneck speed, I felt trapped, I was basically trying to kill myself one cigarette, one beer, one lift at a time. Then I got out.
This last year leading up to today feels like a blur. I know I dwelt on everything else, but I just don't have a lot of introspection on things. Life is good now. Got a truck, got a 3 bedroom 2 bath trailer in my hometown. Worked on the railroad for 8 months, and now I'm working as a dam electrician. Got a dog too, German Shepherd named Mengele. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure I knocked my girl up, she's two months late right now. Life is wild ya'll, life moves fast. Yesterday I was making posts on this board about my high school crush and pretending to hear a voice in my head, the day before I was learning how to walk. Today I'm doing really good. Tomorrow maybe I won't be. I've had friends come and go, some died, some just faded out of my life. And I just want to say, I appreciate ya'll for putting up with me during some of the most absolutely cringe inducing moments of my life, and teaching me things I wasn't learning in person. The fact you've stuck out to me to where I felt the need to circle back 7 years later I think should prove how much of an impact you have.
I don't know how active this place is anymore, i saw some posts from 2023 though which really surprised me. Ya'll gotta be pushing up on your thirties by now and you're still posting on here every now and again. You all probably still game together too. I'd love to catch up on where everyone went, even though to be honest only a few of you even stick out to me.
Also, one thing I didn't touch on, that's probably another reason this place sticks out, is my writing. This was the first place I really got to express myself creatively, even if it was really just ripping off deadpool and other characters I enjoyed. But most good writing is founded on wanting to rip something else off. Anyhow, by the time I was 20 I finished a few novels, and a few movie scripts. I thought I wanted to go to hollywood, but that dream died off. Oh, in 2019 I finished 3 different games too, they were shitty but I was proud of them. Coded them, did the art, everything from scratch. Just little Zelda ripoffs, but it was something. Last year I self published two different books, one I've since taken down because I think it was dogshit, one is still up. This year I published my first novel on Amazon. The number between the three of them is close to 100 copies sold, although the second one was free, this newest one actually sold better. So yeah, that's my little redemption arc story.
Also update on my life's side characters: The friend I always complained about went to school for astrophysics, my high school crush married a dude who looks exactly like me except skinnier, and my best friend in high school still lives with his mom.
I hope all your lives are going great. Go outside, be in nature, lift weights, be good to your family. And remember every small interaction you have impacts someone's life. Those people you have tiny interactions with, you might have just impacted them the most. I might be back in another 7 years when the urge strikes me, if I'm not dead. I'll probably look back on this post then and cringe. But looking down on your old self is good, it means you grew. Til next time...